When Lois died, I wanted to go also. My whole focus had been on staying healthy in order to make sure she was properly cared for to the end. However, I didn’t think much about “Then what?”
So, when she passed, I asked the Lord, “When do I get to go?”
He quoted scripture at me. (He is really good at that since he wrote it). “It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power”. Acts 1:7
I told him that I knew that verse also, but that I would need his help in figuring out, “Now what do I do?”
I was visiting the grave of Lois’ twin brother, who was killed by a careless driver on their 21 birthday. I wandered around the cemetery and stopped at the graves of several of her relatives whom I had known.
The Holy Spirit reminded me that however long he might choose to leave me, it would pass smoothly and all too rapidly if I just focus on the here and now. Matthew 6:25, 31; Philippians 3:13,14
So every night I do my “God Watch” and thank him for how he has: guided, comforted, taught, provided for, strengthened, calmed, given me opportunities to serve, filled me with wonder at the beauty, helped me to worship him, etc. I then promise that the first thing upon awakening will be for me to start talking and listening and being guided by him. We then walk the day together, doing what he wants in his way. (Well, for the most part, I do get in his way a lot.) He then taps me on the shoulder, and I say, “Sorry,” and let him get me back on track.
I must diminish, and he must increase. Yet, I seem to be more fully myself the more that I diminish.
Here is the formula he has shown me in regard to focus and time: Live in the HERE and NOW, noticing the people and things around me, but being informed by the PAST and motivated by the hope of the FUTURE I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
verlebellmd.com 