When Lois died, I wanted to go also. My whole focus had been on staying healthy in order to make sure she was properly cared for to the end. However, I didn’t think much about “Then what?”
So, when she passed, I asked the Lord, “When do I get to go?”
He quoted scripture at me. (He is really good at that since he wrote it). “It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power”. Acts 1:7
I told him that I knew that verse also, but that I would need his help in figuring out, “Now what do I do?”
I was visiting the grave of Lois’ twin brother, who was killed by a careless driver on their 21 birthday. I wandered around the cemetery and stopped at the graves of several of her relatives whom I had known.
The Holy Spirit reminded me that however long he might choose to leave me, it would pass smoothly and all too rapidly if I just focus on the here and now. Matthew 6:25, 31; Philippians 3:13,14
So every night I do my “God Watch” and thank him for how he has: guided, comforted, taught, provided for, strengthened, calmed, given me opportunities to serve, filled me with wonder at the beauty, helped me to worship him, etc. I then promise that the first thing upon awakening will be for me to start talking and listening and being guided by him. We then walk the day together, doing what he wants in his way. (Well, for the most part, I do get in his way a lot.) He then taps me on the shoulder, and I say, “Sorry,” and let him get me back on track.
I must diminish, and he must increase. Yet, I seem to be more fully myself the more that I diminish.
Here is the formula he has shown me in regard to focus and time: Live in the HERE and NOW, noticing the people and things around me, but being informed by the PAST and motivated by the hope of the FUTURE I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
6 replies on “Not For MeToKnow”
No post you have written has touched me more as truth, but for this one. I, too, wondered what to do with myself when Mike died seven years ago. But the Lord’s timing is always perfect: I enrolled in a two-year/full time Bible college a couple months later, to get my mind on Him, not him.
Never regretted it, worth every penny.
But at night when I am settling down, I still miss the man who almost lasted 50 years with me. I tell the Lord that I will be so glad to see him again, and I am ready for Him to come in the clouds and gather me up. That reunion makes me smile as I drift off to sleep.
I AM living every day as Today, not dismayed about yesterday or fearing tomorrow, but doing what I can to make everyone I meet smile. My gift is to encourage people, and I take it seriously.
It makes getting up every morning worth the effort.
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Dr Bell –
this was the most beautiful offering you have given to us. I long for your words, and I miss you terribly. Thank you so much for still reaching out to us to show us how to live in this world,
Helene
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Thanks for your encouragement. I blog on things that the Holy Spirit suggests that I need to look into, but also I love to share on your questions or hear your insights. Please send these and remember to tell your friends to check out my blog. Pray for me as I am going to start doing YOU TUBE videos and now also have time for my regular blogs.
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Dr Bell – I nearly cried when I saw your response. I am working so hard on my mental health, and I have begun praying a lot and talking to God in Jesus and asking for forgiveness for the things in my life that have led me to be this way. I am back on Prozac, 40 mg. My new psychiatrist is very young and has like toy figures in the window. He seems to be doing a good job, but I just really miss your directness and honesty and compassion. I am still seeing my therapist at Pine Rest. I need to work hard to get past times of depression. Your words made my heart open. Just knowing that I have some kind of contact with you brings me a lot of peace. I hope you are doing well and I hope you enjoyed your time in the holy land. If you haven’t gone yet, I’m sorry, but I think of you very often and wonder what your view is, and how it feels to look up upon the land where Jesus tread. Thank you for everything, Dr. Bell
Helene
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A psychiatrist that is willing to deal with the struggles of life and still enjoys laughter and toys in the window sounds like a good balance. Don’t forget the three reminders and three prayers to use in response to everything always. 1. I can’t so HELP me God. 2. You can and want to and will so THANKS even when I can’t feel thankful 3. I need to do the little that I can according to a growing picture of God’s ways in action. So SHOW ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO in this moment.
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