These days people just love to take up a stand on one extreme or the other.
They then delight in pointing out
why the other side is crazy and wrong and
why they are right.
Balance in the Home
Husbands and wives do not seek to solve problems and be a team. They seek to win and be the one who is “more right.”
We marry somebody because they are different and we can see how God could use that to balance us—then we try to change them to be exactly like we are.
Even if we admit that there might be two sides to an issue, we want to find a balance that is perfect and does not need to be adjusted from time to time.
The problem is that static balance does not work!
Take, for example, the balance between work, family, and time for oneself.
- There are times where you have to put in extra focus on an effort at work
- and other times where you have to back off of work and put extra focus and time on family
- and yet other times you need to back off of both and have some quiet time between just you and the Lord.
I think one reason we are so uncomfortable with the fact of the need for a shifting, dynamic balance, is that it can only be found by talking to others and keeping our eyes focused on the Lord at all times. I will never “master” the art so well that I am in control and can handle each situation in my own strength.
In an attempt to maintain balance between work, family, self, and church I have found it helpful to let my wife and children know that I am open to their feedback and that I will adjust accordingly. For me, the hardest was to make sure I took time for myself to renew and rejuvenate.
An Example at the Level of Society
In politics, the Lord says that we need to take care of the needy, that if you have two coats, share one with a person who has none. That it is wrong to say to starving brother “God bless you” and not take care of his need.
On the other hand it says if a man does not work he should not eat and that a widow is not a widow if she has family that can take care of her.
So do we give to needy people or don’t we?
Maybe I have to do a little thinking first, ask others, and spend time in prayer. I need to ask whether I am actually helping the person and not making them weak or dependent.
Balance in Christian Discernment
We are told to judge not lest we be judged with the same judgment we use to judge others. On the other hand Paul says, “although I am not even there, I have judged already.”
So, are we supposed to judge or not?
Maybe I need to see that it is good for others to judge me. To see whether what we are doing is healthy and tell me so. Then I can, in turn, judge others’ choices for their welfare and not to make myself look better.
I am to do “all to the glory of God” and he should be in “all of my thoughts.” However I am to focus on the people and things around me and on meeting their needs and enjoying what I have.
How do I avoid being so heavenly minded as to be of no earthly good? I remember a pastor that spent so much time preparing a perfect sermon and praying that he never went to visit or minister to his people.
I am to actively focus on, and hope in, heaven while still enjoying the food and tasks and people around me now.
“Dear Jesus, you be my balance and I will just walk each moment with you trying to see what you see and care about what you care about.”
One reply on “Dynamic Balance”
So many questions, so little time!
About the paragraph on judging: Matt 7 does caution you about judging other people’s actions. Especially according to your own standards of conduct. Hence it states that you too will be judged by the same standards! How many people can stand up under those conditions (rhetorical question)?
I, myself, have a different view of the same subject. Because I try my hardest to actually do what the Bible says to do at all times, I subconsciously compare the person’s actions to what the Bible says about it, not what I feel about it. Then I have no fear of the consequences of being judged for the same offense.
Where I fall short on the judging area was brought to my attention in another definition of ‘judging’. Judging, according to this definition, is you thinking you know the motives of the person’s actions, when you really don’t know. i.e. the governor of Michigan got so much flack on her masking mandates and shut-downs, that she is soft-shoeing her current demands because there is an election coming up and she wants to win again.
Now in this instance, I have no real info on how she decided to let up on the mandates for my state. It may be that it-just-so-happened to be a coincidence. I cannot judge, because I don’t know. But the temptation to express my opinion is, at times, strong!
How does this scenario compare to what the Bible says? Obviously I am not in position to make mandates for any group of people that would compare to the above. But can I judge a man who dominates his family using the second definition? Do I know for sure why he acts this way? Is he just selfish, full of pride, or is there something in his past that influences his behavior?
By thinking of him in this judgement, I am not a person who exercises control over people around me, so I am not afraid of being judged in this way. But I realize that I may be treating him in a way that is not morally fair because of what I think he thinks. It doesn’t excuse the man for his boorish behavior which needs to be reckoned with, but on my part, I should not fall into the trap of reading the mind of another human and condemning him without a ‘fair trial’.
“So, are we supposed to judge or not?” Let’s face it, we humans have a tendency to do it, whether we should or not. We judge little things like what to eat for breakfast, which car to buy, or who to marry. The good Lord gave us the ability to judge, but we have to use it to benefit ourselves and others, not to tear either one down.
A good perquisite to opening your mouth to reveal what is on your mind is to remember the two items above: can I be judged favorably for the same thing and how much do I really know about that situation?
That, my friend, will keep you out of a load of trouble, and morally honest.