Christian Living Grace Mindfulness

Another way I’m messed up—

How cool is that?

In Romans 7 Paul laments that he keeps doing what he knows he shouldn’t and doesn’t really want to do them. Then he doesn’t get around to doing what he knows he should and really wants to but the sin in him keeps bossing him around.

I can relate.  Paul calls it “Oh wretched man that I am, who shall  deliver me from this body of death.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I was all set for the answer, but in Romans 7:25 all I get is, “I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.”

I was raised in a holiness church where people claimed to have had a second work of Grace that rendered them unable to sin. They didn’t seem all that holy to me. I think they were just tire of pursuing holiness in their own strength and declared themselves perfect.

I think that freedom from the struggle with old programming is a state that will have to wait until we are free from the presence of sin, a state that my dad is in since he went to heaven. I am tempted to say ” lucky him” and when that day comes it will be wonderful. But, right now I say “lucky me” that I get to do battle with evil both within me and in the world. The Lord is teaching me not to resent the struggle with my old programming or temptation, it is evidence that I am in the middle of the battle, it teaches me to hate sin and hunger for righteousness, to stay in the word and near to fellow believers, to be constant in prayer etc. If I resent the struggle too much, I am in danger of giving in and letting myself be taken prisoner. The Lord promises power to not give in to temptation not deliverance from the struggle. John 17:15 I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. For example if my mind says that it would be healthy to lose weight and right now there is the opportunity to eat something unhealthy—then it is good to have my conscience speak up. My mind reminds me to read the word or pray but my body is tired and weak. Matthew 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed iswilling, but the fleshis weak. I see a chance to witness and the flesh says it would make me seem irritating to others and that my effort would go nowhere, so wait for a better time. I have learned to watch for these uncomfortable arguments in my head and have learned to value them and to let them push me to run to the Lord for power. Power to walk in the spirit and not in the flesh.

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