I remember listening to evangelists who had lived dramatically messed up lives and so could testify to God’s saving power and grace.
The apostle Paul was a great evangelist, in part, because he has such a dramatic story. If God loved him and turned his life around, God could help anyone!
Peter was pretty messed up, first he tried to talk Jesus into not going to the cross and then he was caught cursing and swearing that he did not even know Jesus. Those of us with ADHD find his example helpful due to God using someone who clearly had impulsivity.
I thought to myself that I could never be a good evangelist because I did not want to live that messed up of a life in order to be able to say, “See what God can do.” Fortunately, God showed me that I did not have to go out and mess up even more in order to have a message. Praise God, I was already messed up enough to testify to his grace! I just needed to see my mess through his eyes, and then ponder, and share the miracle that God could love, forgive, cleanse and use someone as messed up as I.
I remember sitting in my car in a parking lot outside a state penitentiary. I had to go in and counsel a man who had molested a foster child entrusted to him by the state. I knew I could not go in as a superior person helping an inferior, but rather, go in there as the chief of sinners helping the second chief. I had to go as a beggar sharing with another beggar where I had found food. I sat in the parking lot for an hour ( I can be rather thick-headed) as God showed me that, as someone with so many advantages who still managed to mess up plenty, I was in no position to judge anyone else’s worth or hope. Yes, I could see that God’s Word hated the sin but not the sinner and all have sinned and come short.
In fact the second I start thinking that, “God got a pretty good deal in me,” or, “I thank God I am not like this publican.” The devil will grab me and suggest, “Way to go, now keep it up and do even more.” Pretty soon I will be all worn out.
Or he will get me to think, “how can people be like that?” That renders me unable to relate, or unable to say, “well, in my life I found the following which might help you in your situation.” And, because the idea that I am not all that bad has no truth to it, I must defend against anybody pointing out areas where I need to grow. This freezes me into permanently being unable to grow.
The message that everybody needs to hear is, “If God can take a mess like me and turn it into a marvel, he will have no trouble making something wonderful out of your life.”
I believe that one of the reasons the church is not doing well is that it is terrified of brethren giving each other feedback. You can go to any pagan AA group and see the benefits of people being real with each other in the effort to fight addiction. But, No! We can’t let Christians be honest and real with themselves, each other and with God. What is they judge other peoples’ worth or resorting to gossip? But, surely, if God, in his Word, so powerfully and constantly commands us to exhort, rebuke, and restore each other, then he is capable of showing us how to do it for one another’s benefit and his glory.
My brothers need me to share, “If you struggle, I want you to know I have been there, done that, but I found God’s grace to be sufficient and this is what worked for me,” then the brother or sister knows that they are not alone.
We also need to be able to confess the ongoing messiness of our lives and get support, accountability, and guidance from others.
We need to confess, like Paul, that we have not yet arrived neither are yet perfect. Philippians 3:12
I have had a lot of people listen to testimony’s on the Christian radio and become discouraged because, although the people were brave enough to share that they had had problems, they now present themselves as having arrived and being perfect. Meanwhile the listeners are still struggling and do not see an end in the near future.
The primary sin is pride, so the primary virtue is humility. Humility is seeing two things at the same time #1 In me dwells no good thing, I am the chief of sinners, my ways are not God’s ways, neither are my thoughts his thoughts, for the heavens are higher than the earth so are his thoughts higher than mine. I Timothy 1:15 Isaiah 55:9 #2 Seeing, but more importantly, acting in who I am in Christ.
I need to “Act in the fact,” that I am now a person of infinite worth, hope, dignity, wisdom, strength, and security. We should come across almost arrogant. Like Paul saying that he and God were right and he was going to go down to Jerusalem and see if those people who “seem” to be somewhat could agree, and be right as well. Galatians 2
Dear Lord pour out your Grace on my mess and turn it into a message that testifies to your majesty.
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