I had hoped to retire to my farm property but all my children left the area and my wife is too ill to live in the middle of nowhere. So I figured that I should sell the farm but it needs cleaning up to get it ready for viewers. I totally understand that even when I have done my part, I still am dependent on God for the outcome. Still, I was feeling stressed. I asked God why? and He pointed out two things. 1. I was thinking that I had to do my part before He could do his. 2. I was thinking that the farm HAD to be sold.
He assured me that He could do my part even if I didn’t do my part perfectly. Now I know that this can be used as a cop-out to be lazy of careless. So I examined myself and the reason I have not been able to make more progress is because I am so tied up with wife, grandchildren, ministering to people at church, preparing for a Sunday morning group and a Thursday evening support group as well as my regular work load. So I turned it over to Him and will just keep plugging away when I can. But I was still tense and realized that I was forgetting that God being sovereign does not only mean that all power and outcomes are in his hand, but it also means that He doesn’t have to make it turn out my way at all.
Remember Shadrack Meshak and Abednego? Their God was so big that He could save them from the fire, but he was bigger than that! He was so big that He could let them die in the fire and that would be OK as well.
I had to let go of ever selling the farm and of how and when and just get back to doing the little that I can. Then peace returned.
Faith goes beyond believing that God has said! It goes beyond picturing and acting in his word. It includes trusting that He is able to take my imperfect efforts and make them count. And it includes resting after I have done what I could even if the outcome doesn’t fit my timing and desires.