I have been pondering God’s ways with me.
(It takes a lot of pondering because even after 64 years as his child, my thoughts are not his thoughts and my ways are not his ways.)
He seems to allow things into my life that, frankly, I would not choose. THEN he works in almost miraculous ways to cover for the stress so that I am not too overwhelmed and so that I can see his hand at work and relax in the things that I don’t understand.
Last weekend I started having lightning flashes out of the left field of vision and pieces of lint floating in front of my vision. I feel conflicted. I don’t like to fuss over nothing but if I don’t go get it checked out and it turns out to be serious, then people will be upset at me for not taking care of myself. I also figured that if I took my doctors usual advice, which is always, “go to the ER” that they would run up a hugh copay and then they would tell me that I am just old! Besides when would I have time to go. Then on Monday I had the shortest workday I’ve had in a year, as only two admissions showed up. Then the Lord reminded me that my wife, Lois, sees a great ophthalmologist in Grand Rapids. So I called her office to see if any of the doctors there might have a cancellation and be able to handle a walk in. They did! but I needed to get there in a hurry. The traffic was clear and I arrived 10 min early, way north of town. The doctor I saw was a little uncertain of what she was seeing so called their “retina specialist” who turns out to be Lois’ doctor and the best in the area. I would have been impossible to schedule with him directly but the Lord worked it out. Of course they didn’t have time to answer my questions so I have to rest in the Lord till I see them again in two weeks. Of course I will have to rest in him then also, but it is so much easier not to let your imagination run on all the possible outcomes when you know what the most likely outcomes might be. They just told me to not do any strenuous lifting and DON’T READ! I reminded them of what I do at work. The Lord led me to wear a piece of paper over my left eye, the one with the lightning, in order to rest it and still do my work. I looked like patch the pirate.
The rest of the week, God gave me shorter work days and a long weekend to recover on.
Of course I would prefer eyeballs that work perfectly till I die of old age, older age than this that is, and abounding energy for all the kingdoms labors. I guess he is reminding me not to take anything for granted and that it is OK to slow down and take care of myself sometimes. Of course, I wouldn’t mind you putting in a good word for me with the Lord in regards to my eyeball. The doctor told me that, if a thousand little red dots showed up in my vision that I should call back early. I’d rather not experience that, but it is good to know that NO MATTER WHAT God will be with me in that valley also. It fascinates me how he often gives me problems I don’t understand but I can see his presence at work so I can proceed calmly.
When valleys come my way, I look for the evidence of his hand and remember that it is better to walk my valley with him rather than without him, and I know enough about his wisdom and love to trust him in this and never lose sight of the eternal outcome of spending all eternity with him in paradise.